"Even if this article were totally positive, writing it would probably get me blacklisted if I still worked there."
#6. Lying Is a Requirement of the Job
For example, we were opening a new exhibit at my park that involved us quickly moving a ton of sharks and stingrays, dashing them across the park and dropping them in new homes with virtually no notice, because management needed the exhibit opened fast for “media day.” … [The animals] were extremely stressed out by being moved to a new home, and having a tidal wave of loud strangers with flashy cellphones crash through the very next day didn’t help much. The rays started beaching themselves — hurling their bodies out of the water and onto the sandy artificial beach at the edge of the tank — in a desperate attempt to escape.
Of course, we can’t tell the starry-eyed guests that the adorable critters are literally killing themselves to get away from their peering tourist faces, so we told the guests they were giving birth. This wasn’t little Billy’s terrifying first glimpse of death and corporate apathy, it was the miracle of life!